Leadership

Don’t Make Assumptions

There is a story of a lumber yard owner who was convinced by a young kid to give him a chance.  The lumber yard owner was skeptical because he thought the kid looked puny and probably couldn’t do much, but he took pity on “the kid” and gave him a chance.  He told the young man, “Okay, I’ll give you a chance.  Here is a new axe, go see what you can do.”

Much to the yard owner’s surprise the kid was able to cut down 10 trees.  His best lumber jacks might be able to knock down 4, maybe 5 – but this kid cut down 10!  He was pleased with the work and offered him a job.  The next day the young man chopped down 8 trees.  The lumber yard owner thought, well it’s less than he did yesterday, but still more than anyone else, I’ll take it.  

Each day the young man seemed to do less and less, and it was concerning the lumber jack owner because the prior day the young man had not even chopped down a single tree. The young man still looked eager and seemed to be putting in all of the energy as the days before.  His approach to the work had not changed, so the lumber yard owner pulled the young man aside to ask him what was happening.  The young man replied with, “I have no idea! I am still doing what I did the first day.  I just don’t understand.”

The lumber yard owner asked to see the young man’s axe, and he saw a very dull blade and realized what the problem was. He assumed the young man knew to sharpen the blade at the beginning of each day.

Don’t make assumptions

The third of the four agreements is don’t make assumptions. This is easy to do and can create all types of disconnects, communication breakdowns and on many occasions conflict. One area where I saw this happen frequently in the workplace is with training new employees. The assumption would be made that because trainees were given new information in new hire training, that they would always remember it going forward. In other cases, such as in the scenario above, no training was given, because the assumption was made that they knew what to do. This can also be an assumption based on previous job/school experience of an employee.

As leaders, it is our responsibility to make sure that our people have understanding, proper tools and resources they need to do their jobs well.  We cannot always assume that this is the case. We need to objectively and proactively ask our employees if they have all of the tools that they need. It is also important that employees thoroughly understand what is expected of them, and feel safe enough to ask questions.

One of my favorite lines that I used when leading teams was “We do a horrible job at hiring mind readers!  You know why?  Because they don’t exist.”  This is the very reason that I believe it is important to be clear about expectations and not assume that employees automatically know what is expected. Regular feedback is also an important part of the process, never assume that an employee knows how they are performing.

Needless to say, there are so many ways that we can make assumptions in the workplace. The key is to examine our own thoughts to see where we might be making assumptions, and ask for clarity from the other party, especially when we find ourselves thinking, “they should have known…”.

Next week we will explore the fourth agreement, “Always Do Your Best”. It will become apparent how all of the agreements come together and overlap.

The First Agreement is “be impeccable with your word”.  Let’s first define impeccable.  Merriam-Webster defines impeccable as being free from fault or blame; flawless.  Why is it important to be impeccable with our words?  Words are powerful. Think about it, we often say, “You have my word.” to seal the deal on something we plan to carry out. Words are powerful.

Words carry messages, they can build people up, and they can tear a person down.  Ultimately, your words say a lot about who you are. Don Miguel Ruiz says, “Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself.” He says this in the context of self-talk (the voice that talks to you in your head) as well as how you speak to or about others. The energy he speaks of refers to the purpose behind your words. Words are powerful.

The first agreement is by far the most difficult to carry out, yet it is the most important because each of the other agreements ties directly back to being impeccable with your words. Through the practice, one’s awareness of the words that are spoken (and at times thought) is suddenly heightened and we begin to notice the energy the words carry. I can also remember teams agreeing that this was the most difficult agreement to learn. In writing this blog series, it has been the most difficult to write about.

Words are powerful.

I’ve heard many employees say, “I just can’t trust my manager, they never do what they say they are going to do.”  Ouch! This can be damaging on many levels.  First, trust and respect can be diminished, especially if this is something that continues to happen over and over.  Your words become meaningless and recovering from this can be quite difficult, but it will require impeccability with your word.

Sometimes what we say we are going to do and our ability to execute on that can change. Situations like that come up in workplaces where there are constant changes. Let’s face it, this is most workplaces.  Most people understand that change in trajectory is often necessary, and it shows impeccability when acknowledgement of the change is spoken.  This can deepen trust and strengthen relationships.

The power of words can influence how others think of another person, often even before meeting a them. Which leads to the subject of gossip. Gossip is another way that goes against being impeccable with your word.  It is prevalent in the workplace, and it can rip teams apart, diminish productivity, and even ruin individual careers.  Words are powerful.

For the sake of exploration, let’s say for instance that there is a team member transferring to another workgroup. The current reporting manager tells the new manager how excited and relieved he or she is that that person is moving on and then goes on to share information about that employee’s personal life that does not align with the new manager’s beliefs. The new manager then takes on a perspective of that new employee. What if they take on a negative view of this new employee before that person even had a chance to showcase what they could do.  Imagine being that employee, and how difficult it might be to overcome a situation like that.

Impeccability with your words in the workplace also helps improve clarity in your communication and strengthens emotional intelligence. Meaning what you say and saying what you mean ultimately builds your credibility and leadership. Words are powerful. Lastly, being impeccable with your words also helps you sort through the stories that you tell yourself about situations. This is especially important for next week’s agreement; don’t take anything personally.

One of the first books about shamanism that I read was “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.  This book challenged me in so many ways.  So much so that I found myself enraged at times.  It was holding me to a higher standard, and forcing me to take responsibility for what had happened in my life. As I read it, I knew that I needed to stick with it, and that my life would change as a result of incorporating the practices in every area of my life. 

For the first several years after reading the book and applying the agreements my personal life changed. I am certain that when you set out to transform your life, every aspect of your life changes, including how you interact in the workplace. At least this is what I found happened for me, but it took a lot of patience and practice.  

The Four Agreements are based on the Toltec tradition.  Here is a bit about who the Toltecs were. The Toltecs were an ancient Native American (Aztec and Mayan) society that existed around 900 to 1200 AD.  They are believed to be great warriors, healers, accomplished artists and sculptors (shaman). It is also believed that they built the pyramids in Teotihuacan, Mexico.  The structures are mysterious and very advanced for the era that they were built.   It is believed that they went into hiding continuing to teach apprentices so that the teachings could resurface when the time was right.  Many believe that the end of the Mayan calendar (which was in 2012) would be the time for the teachings to resurface.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

As I made the commitment to myself, I began practicing and noticing what would come up for me.  I would evaluate my emotions and thoughts by asking myself where I might not be applying the agreements.  As a result, I began to notice there was less conflict in my life, I grew curious to have a deeper understanding of myself and those around me.

I am certain that when you set out to transform your life, every aspect of your life changes, including how you interact in the workplace.

As a leader, I always found it beneficial for my teams to work through books together.  One year I selected The Four Agreements, and this book rocked the team at their core.  The concepts changed the lives of individuals on the team and how they began to interact with each other. The vulnerability between team members caused the bonds to grow stronger, and the team excelled knowing they were always there to support and trust each other.  From that point I made an agreement with myself that I would go through the book with anyone who reported to me, and I did.  

I found that going through the agreements with all of my direct reports allowed us to be vulnerable and have deep conversations almost from the get-go.  As we got to know each other we developed deeper levels of understanding and began to see how the Four Agreements played out in our day to day functioning.  

Over the next few weeks, I will share each of the agreements and how they played out in the workplace.